


I tried ( requests are open )

by Squishy_Hopemon



Category: GOT7, SEVENTEEN (Band), VIXX, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Attempt at Humor, BamBam likes dabbing with taehyung, Dark Humor, Don't like, Don't read, Drunk chat fic, GOT7 - Freeform, Hobi is a usual sunshine, I love being KPOP trash, I should finish you make me begin but, I'm not responsible for anything, Is this how you tag?, Jackson and Rapmon are soulmates, Jimin hangs out with JB because why not?, Ken and Jin love going on man dates, Other, Someone stop me, Taehyung is disrespectful, Yoongi is happy with just Hoseok, a lot of name calling, aggressive yoongi, also Yugyeom really likes Jungkook, bts - Freeform, chatfic, eomma Jin is done with everyone, how do you tag?, jeon is rejected by jimin, jikook is alive, lol sope, mochi Chim chim, really Vernon and Woozi are mentioned in there just wait for it, shameless self promo, so much cussing lol, this has dark humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11935884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squishy_Hopemon/pseuds/Squishy_Hopemon
Summary: AgustD: girls are the reason why I'll turn gayAgustD: like who the fuc does that trash think she is?!!!!AgustD: hold me before I cut a bish up in hereCupOfTae: *munches on popcorn* plz keep goingJeoncena: *Grabs a handful of popcorn* plz domochi: *sips tea*Jeoncena: sips TAE***CupOfTae: omg I luv u?*This work includes dark humor/comedy. If you don't like this kind of content then kindly don't read to avoid any complications and thanks <3*Ps. I don't make of fun of things I don't go through





	1. fuvk this family

**Author's Note:**

> So I made a new fic let's hope I don't delete this one lolol~ so here are the names!! 
> 
> Amajing: Jin ( ik so original )  
> AgustD: Yoongi ( even more original )  
> Imurhope: Hobi ( the most original )  
> Clumsygiant: Namjoon ( won't get any more original )  
> mochi: Jimin ( y'all can't get on my level or originality )  
> cupoftae: Taehyung ( geT oN mY leVeL )  
> Jeoncena: Jungkook ( ok I love this one lmao done touchu me )

For anyone who prefers reading this on wattpad, here's the link :3!

 

[wattpad link here;)](https://my.w.tt/UiNb/L4ZKUUfRTI)

**Jeoncena, mochi and cupoftae are online**

 

 

Jeoncena: so lyke I woke up today wiht turtle on my hcest and ive nvr ben tis happy??? 

Mochi: I still csnt get over the fact u nambed ur puppy turtle 

 

cupoftae:if nmjoon hyung was here he would have a siezur 

 

mochi:don't u mean seizure 

 

Cupoftae:square tf up chubby

 

mochi: omg

 

Jeoncena:bithc say wat 

 

CupOfTae: im sorry ily plz dont hit me jungkook 

 

**AgustD is online**

 

AgustD: I swear to god 

 

mochi: hi Yoongi hrung ( ^ω^ )

 

Jeoncena: hi always complaining Hyung

 

AgustD: girls are the reason why I'll turn gay

 

AgustD: like who the fuc does that trash think she is?!!!!

 

AgustD: hold me before I cut a bish up in here

 

CupOfTae: *munches on popcorn* plz keep going

 

Jeoncena: *Grabs a handful of popcorn* plz do

 

mochi: *sips tea*

 

Jeoncena: sips TAE***

 

CupOfTae: omg I luv u?

 

mochi: what happened houng 

 

cupoftae: houng 

 

mochi: stfu furry 

 

Jeoncena: im-

 

AgustD: GiVe mE atTenTiOn 

 

mochi: sidmdndj u have my atontion what wrong

 

AgustD: c l i e n t

 

AgustD: apparently she's this big shot in the KPOP industry or whatever

 

Jeoncena: omg is it IU?

 

Jeoncena: nvm IU's an angel

 

AgustD: no it's not

 

AgustD: she's called Jess or whatever

 

CupOfTae: JESS AS IN RAPPER ONG HOW CAN URVEEN BRETAHE IN THE SAME PRIVXIMATY AS HER ONG D

 

AgustD: square the fuck up boi

 

CupOfTae: sorry Hyung (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)

 

AgustD: anyways so this bisht walks in thinking she's almighty and shit and starts looking me up and down in disgust

 

AgustD: then she's all like "that's Agust d?" and I'm like yes I'm Agust D any problems?

 

AgustD: then she goes "Wow its just that you're small for a guy who talks big"

 

CupOfTae: PFFFFTTTTT LMFAOOOOOOO

 

Jeoncena: well....she's not lying lolololo

 

mochi: omg htung I mean...shdhdhdj

 

AgustD: I will cut you

 

Cupoftae: but like how can jimin spell Hyung differently four times 

 

mochi: but like how can taehyung spell differently correctly 

 

Jeoncena: don't mind them Hyung they're idiots! So what did you do? I hope you put her in her place ( ◠‿◠ )

 

AgustD: oh I did

 

CupOfTae: what did you say?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

mochi: why do I feel like you're so excited?

 

CupOfTae: because I am ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Jeoncena: what did you say hyung?

 

AgustD: I would like to thank coconut head for listening to me ily s/o goes to you 

 

Jeoncena: I-

 

cupoftae: OMG SO TUW SO TURE 

 

AgustD: anwyays, I said "at least I can wear shoes that'll make me taller, unfortunately for you ugly can't be fixed"

 

mochi: OH MY GOD SHAHSJS YES HYUNG YES!!!!

 

CupOfTae: FUVK ISISKDKDJDKKDKDKDD LMFAOOOOO

 

jeoncena: THATS OUR YOONGI HYUNG

 

Mochi: what happened then??

 

mochi: weren't you supposed to work with her?

 

AgustD: oh I told her I wouldn't need her anymore. Since she's ugly her rapping is obvs horrible too.

 

jeoncena: ooooh were you judging her based on her looks like she did to you?

 

AgustD: exactly

 

CupOfTae: my goal in life is to be as snarky and savage as Yoongi hyung

 

jeoncena: ^^^^ x2

 

mochi: she deserved it! Shouldn't mess with Agust D!!!

 

AgustD: I did get yelled at after tho so don't go around being mean to people like i do 

 

jeoncena: aw look Yoongi hyung is giving us a life lesson lol

 

AgustD: shut up Maknae

 

**imurhope is online**

 

imurhope: hey heos 

 

cupoftae: OMF HOESEOK HYUNG 

 

imurhope: I- 

 

mochi: it's probbaly a mistake 

 

cupoftae: like ur existence 

 

jeoncena: BOI BACK TF UO BEFO U GET SMAKED TF UP 

 

mochi: im hurt like wow omg taehyung wtf is dis faje freindship 

 

Imurhope: yoon Hyung I love savageness omg I worship u 

 

imurhope: plz buy me food im hangry and life sucks 

 

AgustD: how'd I know you wanted something 

 

Imurhope: cause u know me so well and ur the best friend anyone can ever ask for I love u so much? 

 

AgustD: fine you brat 

 

mochi: can i come taehynug is a fake ferind and im vv hurt 

 

AgustD: idk a mochi y'all know her? 

 

cupoftae: never herd of her 

 

Imurhope: I think I 'herd' about her on the news but idk 

 

cupoftae: fuvk u hoeseok 

 

imurhope: IM YOUR HYUNG YOU LITTLE SHIT LIKE WOW HAVE SOME RESPECT 

 

mochi: suddnly all my forinds hate me 

 

jeoncena: but I love you 

 

mochi: Jungkook nobody cares about u 

 

jeoncena: rejected by my senpai :):):):):):):):):):):):):):) 

 

cupoftae: S Q U A R E U P M O C H I

D O N T M E S S W I T H M Y M A K N A E 

 

AgustD: I feel bad for jiminie ok you can come with hobi 

 

**Amajing is online**

 

amajing: ok 

 

amajing: never mind 

 

**Amajing is offline**

 

 


	2. you will be missed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jungkook is whipped
> 
> hoseok is shameless 
> 
> namjin fight 
> 
> vmin are triggered 
> 
> yugyeom makes an entrance ( or is forced really )
> 
> and yoongi is done

**amajing, agustD, imurhope and clumsygiant are online**

 

**amajing changed groupchat name to ` you will be missed `**

 

 Amajing: Kim Namjoon

 

Amajing: your shit better be out of my apartment by the time I get back or so help me god

 

AgustD: what did he break now

 

Imurhope: why'd u assume he broke something

 

clumsygiant: JIN HYUNG FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME I DIDNT BREAK IT

 

amajing: WTF HAPPENED TO IT THEN HUH? AND ITS SEOKJIN-SSI TO YOU

 

AgustD: suddenly they're not friends 

 

clumsygiant: I dismantled it Seokjin-ssi <33333

 

Amajing: Hoeseok hold my fuvking earrings

 

Imurhope: I hate this family

 

AgustD: he ' dismantled ' it Jin hyung plz know the difference

 

Imurhope: what did he break tho lol

 

Amajing: he broke my Mario figurine :)

 

AgustD: oh boy 

 

imurhope: THANK GOD

 

imurhope: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH KIM NAMJOON THANK YOU I WORSHIP YOU NOW

 

amajing: jung hoeseok you're disowned (*'ω'*)

 

Imurhope: oh man that shit gave me nightmares

 

Imurhope: I couldn't jack off with that thing staring at me too :(

 

amajing: it was so cute I don't

 

amajing: wait wtf what

 

AgustD: OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

Clumsygiant: omg

 

AgustD: why didn't you make it face the other way ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

imurhope: hyung would've noticed if a hand other than his touched his ' precious baby ' :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

 

amajing: YoU aRe fUkCinG baNneD frOm enTeriNg mY apArtMeNt

 

clumsygiant: hyung please forgive me I'll buy you another one :(

 

imurhope: ANOTHER ONE -in DJ Khalid's voice-

 

AgustD: gtfo Hobi

 

AgustD: your attempt at humor is disgusting

 

imurhope: T^T

 

 amajing: ANOTHER ONE?!!!!! IT WAS LIMITED EDITION YOU LITTLE SHIT DONT EVEN DIRECT WORDS TO ME KIM NAMJOON I WILL END YOU

 

Imurhope: but like what can we do to stop him from destroying everything?

 

AgustD: handcuffs?

 

Amajing: the metal will probably melt

 

Imurhope: ropes?

 

AgustD: it'll get cut off just because it sensed namjoon's presence

 

 Amajing: chain him?

 

**Everyone is online**

 

mochi: are u didcussing kinks??

 

cupoftae: jimin loves kimks

 

jeoncena: wha I love her too omg we have so much in common hyung

 

Imurhope: IM ROLLING

 

cupoftae: AJSJSJSJSJS WE HAVE THE CUTEST COCONUT

 

 

mochi: rlly now???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 

AgustD:

 

amajing: idk should i laugh or cry like 

 

clumsygiant: i'm actually crying 

 

amajing: nobody asked you

 

amajing: u perverted square 

 

imurhope: JDJDJDJJDJD LMAO 

 

**imurhope changed clumsygiant's username to ' pervertedsquare '**

 

pervertedsquare: SO IM THE PERVERT AND NOT HOESEOK WHO WANTED TO JACK OFF ON OUR COUCH YEAH MAKES SENSE KIM SEOKJIN

 

cupoftae: i thiink namjoon iz mad 

 

pervertedsquare: what a fukcing nice observation taehyung you're so smart sherlock couldn't have figured that one out

 

amajing: firstly it's MY couch

 

amajing: secondly the gc name isn't for mario anymore

 

amajing: say ur goodbyes kim namjoon u will be missed

 

cupoftae: but isn't anybody gonna comment on jungkooks stuoidity 

 

AgustD: look who's talking :D

 

mochi: and isnt anyone gonns tslk abou tthe fact that he reffered to a kink as a her lyke 

 

cupoftae: suc a rock yoongi

 

cupoftae: yes jimin lyke imagine how it felt when he assumes its gender wow 

 

imurhope: hey jk 

 

imurhope: whats a kink 

 

jeoncena: just a sec i need my charger 

 

jeoncena: YUGYOM HRRY UR ASS UO I NEED HLP ITS A CODE RED

 

Imurhope:

 

agustD: why am i here 

 

jeoncena: brb kms 

 

cupoftae: JUNGKOOK IS YUGEON A GIRL CAN I MEET HER WHAT DID SHE SAY IS SHE SINGLE 

 

imurhope: ^^ the same guy who got offended becuz jk assumed a kinks gender

 

mochi: LMAO A GIRL AND JUNGKOOK IN HE SAME SNETENCE 

 

jeoncena: why is my life like ths

 

jeoncena: what did i do to deserve this kind of treatment 

 

cupoftae: WHOS YUGYEOM I MEED A USER

 

jeoncena: k EEP URB HANDS TO URSELF 

 

imurhope: what did she tell u ;)

 

jeoncena: none of ur bussniness 

 

mochi: but i wanna know :( 

 

jeoncena: i'm adding it so it can tell u himelf

 

cupoftae: *cough* whipped *cough* 

 

imurhope: "it"

 

jeoncena: 

 

AgustD: i-

 

**jeoncena added brownie97 to ` you will be missed `**

 

brownie97: wth 

 

jeoncena: tell jiminie hyung what you told me a kink was 

 

brownie97: hyung.....you added me just for that??? AND WTF SUDDENLY YOU CAN SPELL????

 

cupoftae: hey ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ASL???

 

brownie97: try again 

 

cupoftae: ASLx2??? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

brownie97: i s2g jungbabo i told you not to hang out with pervs like one day you'll get raped and you'll be like ' yugyeom a guy had his thing inside of me do you know why '

 

Cupoftae: OMG I LOVE U ALREADY

 

mochi: IM ROLLING

 

AgustD: should we teach jk about rape??

 

jeoncena: i-

 

**jeoncena has removed brownie97 out of groupchat**

**jeoncena has removed cupoftae out of groupchat**

**jeoncena has removed AgustD out of groupchat**

  **jeoncena has removed imurhope out of groupchat**

jeoncena: suddenly this gc is much more amazing and beautiful and i feel so comfortable and happy? the world is a better place now

 

mochi: i messed with u too why am i here 

 

jeoncena: because hyung has my heart <3333333

 

**amajing has removed jeoncena out of groupchat**

**amajing has removed pervertedsquare out of groupchat**

 

amajing: one wrong move mochi o(^▽^)o

 

mochi: umm...

 

amajing: BEEP WRONG MOVE 

 

**amajing has removed mochi out of groupchat**

 

amajing: should've said hyung 

 

amajing: lol this is fun 

 

amajing: i should probably eat then add them 

 

amajing: i'm handsome 

 

amajing: omg yes the silence of agreement 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EVERYTHING IS A JOKE OKAY?? plz don't take anything personally or get offended. anyways so i really should update my other fic like i already have 3 or 4 chapters written lol. what am i waiting for???? idk i'm sorry i'm so lazy. promise it'll be up tomorrow or sunday <333 also....HAPPY JUNGKOOKIE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! can't believe our little baby is all grown up :'). hope you enjoyed this chapter!! follow me on my twt @squishy_hopemon lets be friends!! i'm outttt


	3. its an outburst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> namjoon is upset
> 
> seokjin is the reason 
> 
> hoseok tries to cheer up namjoon 
> 
> yoongi scolds seokjin 
> 
> vmin go on a date 
> 
> and jungkook is jealous

 

**AgustD, amajing and pervertedsquare are online**

 

 

agustD: to the person who broke my headphones....

 

agustD: say your prayers bithc :)

 

amajing: lol look at that namjoon broke something else 

 

pervertedsquare: wtf 

 

**imurhope is online**

 

imurhope: yoongi u cant hurt me right??? we're besties for life remember?? we even have matching bracelets???? im actually praying rn?

 

agustD: what the actual fuvk jung hoeseok

 

agustD: do you even realize how much those headphones cost?????

 

imurhope: im sowwy :(

 

amajing: wait so it wasn't namjoon??

 

pervertedsquare: seokjin hyung what the hell?? why are you always blaming me like i dont fukcing break everything 

 

pervertedsquare: im so done with all of you blaming me for anything that gets broken 

 

pervertedsquare: i know im stupid and clumsy but you dont need to remind every two seconds 

 

**pervertedsquare is offline**

 

imurhope: oh shit 

 

agustD: nice going seokjin hyung :) 

 

amajing: well shit i actually feel bad 

 

agustD: you should 

 

agustD: you shouldnt have jumped to conclusions like that

 

agustD: how would you feel if i blamed you for every piece of food that goes missing huh??

 

agustD: be more considerate of his feelings you know how joon gets..

 

imurhope: i never thought i'd see the day where seokjin hyung gets scolded lmaooo

 

**private chat between imurhope and pervertedsquare**

 

 

imurhope: joon??

 

imurhope: are you gonna ignore ur sunshine hyung :'( 

 

imurhope: well listen joonie 

 

imurhope: you're not stupid, you're far from it 

 

imurhope: you're one of the smartest people i've ever met and you're literally a music genius

 

imurhope: yes you break stuff sometimes but thats how you are

 

imurhope: and i promise hyungs love you just the way you are okay? cheer up for me

 

 

**groupchat ' you will be missed '**

 

**cupoftae, mochi, jeoncena and imurhope are online**

 

cupoftae: u jelos yet maknae??? ;)

 

imurhope: oh did yoon go offline?? :(

 

jeoncena: c h o k e

 

cupoftae:

  

 

mochi: ily jungkook 

 

jeoncena: .......oh..mY...GaH 

 

jeoncena: I LOVE YOU SOCMU H MORE EHYUNH POG MARRY ME SENPAI 

 

imurhope: WHAT IS GOING ON 

 

cupoftae: minnie and i went on a dayt 2 the mall

 

imurhope: PICSSSS

 

jeoncena: wtf hoeseok i htoght u were on ma teum 

 

imurhope: lol vmin all the way bithc 

 

jeoncena: IM BETRAYED 

 

jeoncena: WE FUKCING DANC TOGETHER WHAS WRONG WITHY OU 

 

cupoftae: 

 

jeoncena: omg hes so cute like im cryiing 

 

imurhope: AWWWWWWWW THEY'RE SO CUTE WOW I SHIP IT 

 

jeoncena: taehyung i hope you choke on a three year old cactus

 

mochi: THREE YEAR OLD CACTUS LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

cupoftae: whats that jeon? i cant hea u over the sound of ur jealosy :D 

 

**amajing is online**

 

amajing: guys 

 

cupoftae: oh look tHE GuY wHO maDE NaMjOOn uPsEt iS hErE 

 

amajing: stfu 

 

amajing: anyways 

 

amajing: we made up :D 

 

amajing: 

 

imurhope: OMG IVE NEVER BEEN MORE HAPYY

 

mochi: but who took the pic cuz like its my wallpaper now <333333333333 

 

amajing: yoongi did 

 

amajing: hes kinda the reason we made up lol 

 

**pervertedsquare is online**

 

pervertedsquare: i wasnt actually upset you know that right? lol 

 

jeoncena: yeah right and im g-dragon sunbaenim 

 

pervertedsquare: also hobi hyung thank you 

 

pervertedsquare: i love you 

 

imurhope: OMGNMDNDDSBKJDV I LOVE YOU TOO OKRMRLJLK NNSO CUTR 

 

**agustD is online**

 

agustD: oh no dont thank me for bringing this family together 

 

agustD: AnD HOeSEoK YoU CHEaTER WTf 

 

jeoncena: wow i want a freindhsip lyke yogni's anf hoeseos 

 

jeoncena: they fight and make up in the same hour 

 

imurhope: MY BOY YOGNI 

 

agustD: MY BOY HOESEOS 

 

mochi: CRYING 

 

amajing: im done 

 

cupoftae: suddenly i feel love 

 

cupoftae: i love you all 

 

cupoftae: i love this family <3 

 

jeoncena: aw ily2 

 

mochi: I LOVE U MORE SOULMATE 

 

amajing: i love u too child 

 

imurhope: oh cutie taetae ily2 

 

agustD: ur ok 

 

imurhope: ' ur ok ' I CHOKED JSIKDJKJJBFDJKB 

 

pervertedsquare: we love you too 

 

jeoncena: i still hope u choke tho 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i-


	4. well shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> got7 and bts are in one group. 
> 
> you can imagine the mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who's excited for got7's cb??? honestly September hasn't been merciful at all... first it's BTS's comeback and streaming and jk and rm's birthdays then its Mark's, Jinyoung's and Youngjae's birthdays and now we have the teasers and comeback soon.........i'm no going to sleep for three more months DX. army and igot7 let's work hard!! fighting!

 

**amajing created groupchat ' my kids united '**

 

**amajing added AgustD, princetuan, angrysmurf, imurhope, wangpuppy, pervertedsquare, dontparkmerideme, mochi, cupoftae, sunshinejae, bambam, jeoncena and brownie79 to ' my kids united '**

 

**amajing, agustD, angrysmurf and sunshinejae are online**

 

amajing: omg look all my kids are under one roof :') 

 

AgustD: hyung tf is this you know i hate people 

 

amajing: yes ik you're emo but jaebummie and i thought that this would be a good idea

 

AgustD: e m o 

 

sunshinejae: hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~ i'm choi youngjae!! nice to meet you :D

 

angrysmurf: wow we can definitely see your face youngjae

 

sunshinejae: stfu hyung :D:D  

 

amajing: i'm Kim Seokjin :3 call me hyung 

 

angrysmurf: im Jaebum :) 

 

**jeoncena, imurhope and brownie97 are online**

 

imurhope: wow eomma looking good

 

Jeoncena: GYEOMIE 

 

brownie97: KOOKIE 

 

Imurhope: HOBI

 

AgustD: jung hoseok i swear to god 

 

imurhope: wah yoongi's username should be angrysmurf 

 

imurhope: actually 

**imurhope changed AgustD's username to ' angrysmurf2 '**

 

angrysmurf2: lol a cypher is coming 

 

imurhope: i'm your hope, i'm your angel~ i'm J-hope :D 

 

brownie97: I'm Kim Yugyeom 

 

Jeoncena: everybody already knows me so.....

 

imurhope: hOw thOUGh?? 

 

Jeoncena: Yugyeom talks about me too much 

 

brownie97: NO I DONT 

 

angrysmurf: stop lying maknae you even sent us a pic of him and added him to our gc 

 

brownie97: stfu u cactus 

 

angrysmurf: Y'ALL ABOUT TO LOSE A MAKNAE I SWEAR TO GOD 

 

sunshinejae: but a cactus is a flower so hes kinda calling u a flower? 

 

brownie97: no a cactus is ugly and harmful and nobody likes it 

 

angrysmurf: boi you better run 

 

amajing: STFU ALL OF YOU 

 

amajing: Yoongi mind introducing yourself??

 

angrysmurf2: idk them tho, why would i reveal how i look and my name when they could be serial killers or thugs or possibly people who kidnap others to sell them?

 

imurhope: so hes Min Yoongi :D my best friend and soul partner so dont think about stealing him from me 

 

angrysmurf2: say goodbye to your porn magazines hoeseok :D

 

imurhope: its with me tho? 

 

sunshinejae: omg who thought someone with a face so pure was like this

 

angrysmurf2: is it? 

 

amajing: i'm so sorry jaebum i- 

 

imurhope: YOGNI WTF PLZ DONT BE RECKLESS ANI-CHAN MAGAZINES RAN OUT IT WAS LIMITED EDITION  NJJDSVK

 

angrysmurf2: is it now? :D 

 

jeoncena: M CRYING LOLOLOLOLOLOL 

 

brownie97: yOGNI LLMAO 

 

imurhope: I'LL BUY YOU FOOD BRO DONT DO ME LIKE THIS 

 

angrysmurf2: try harder 

 

imurhope: I'LL BUY U NEW HEADPHONES 

 

angrysmurf: deal 

 

imurhope: give my kids to me first then we have a deal 

 

angrysmurf2:

 

**all members are online**

 

wangpuppy: oh my god so many people are here 

 

wangpuppy: i'm Jackson Wang

 

pervertedsquare: TF JACKSON??????? 

 

wangpuppy: who r u??? 

 

pervertedSquare: IM NAMJOON 

 

WangPuppy: NAMJOONIE???? LMAO WHATS UP WITH THE USER 

 

pervertedsquare: annoying hyungs 

 

imurhope: excuse u 

 

amajing: what was that? 

 

pervertedsquare: lovely hyungs 

 

pervertedsquare: anyways, im kim namjoon 

 

BamBam: YO JUNGKOOKIE!!

 

jeoncena: BAMMIE HYUNG HI 

 

mochi: suddenly everyone knows jungkook 

 

mochi: i'm Park Jimin 

 

cupoftae: wow my soulmate is so handsome :-: 

 

jeoncena: kys 

 

cupoftae: I'm Kim Taehyung :D:D

 

princetuan: taehyungie!! you're here! 

 

cupoftae: MARK HYUNG WOW HI 

 

pervertedsquare: does everyone know someone here??

 

amajing: that's what i've been trying to clarify but u kids are annoying

 

princetuan: I'm Mark Tuan

 

bambam: and i'm kunpimook bhuwakul but for everyone's inner and mind peace call me bambam or dabdab ;)

 

cupoftae: YOU LIKE DABBING TOO??? 

 

bambam: YES!! DABBING IS A WAY OF LIFE 

 

cupoftae: OMG LETS MEET UP SOMEDAY AND DAB TOGETHER 

 

bambam: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS LETS DO IT 

 

jeoncena: of coarse.. 

 

brownie97: BAMMIE BE CAREFUL OF HIM HES A PERV 

 

cupoftae: boi 

 

dontparkmerideme: uh hi? i'm Park Jinyoung 

 

amajing: ok since everyone is here 

 

pervertedsquare: how does everyone know each other??? 

 

amajing: i met jaebum in a coffee shop near my university

 

angrysmurf: and so mark hyung, me, jackson, jinyoung, youngjae, bam and gyeom have a gc. we've been friends all our lives basically :)

 

wangpuppy: i met joon in an underground rap battle XD he was awesome 

 

pervertedsquare: wah thanks 

 

cupoftae: i met mark hyung on a shoot i went to 

 

jeoncena: gyeom and i met in art school  

 

bambam: and he wouldn't shut up about how ' good jungkook hyung dances ' and then everybody knows kook

 

imurhope: but jiminie, yogni and i dont know any of u so why we here 

 

amajing: it would be fun if we could all get closer and hang out from time to time 

 

mochi: actually i know youngjae-ah 

 

sunshinejae: :3 

 

angrysmurf: OMO YOUNGJAE YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE OTHER THAN US?? 

 

amajing: WOW JIMIN I CAN SAY THE SAME??? 

 

mochi: we met in a dog cafe 

 

mochi: his puppy was the cutest little thing i've seen in my entire life and so i went up and said hi 

 

dontparkmerideme: who knew coco would help you not be a social reject :') 

 

sunshinejae: tf hyung 

 

cupoftae: wae baby oppa will make you feel better

 

mochi: well shit

 

cupoftae: wait what

 

cupoftae: SORRY WRONG CHAT LOL 

 

imurhope: OH DAMN TAETAE GET SUM 

 

bambam: I KNEW I WAS RIGHT TO CHOOSE YOU AS MY DABBING COMPANION 

 

angrysmurf2: why cant i leave???????????????????????????????????

 

amajing: cause i put a lock on you

 

angrysmurf2: WHY ONLY ME

 

amajing: u dont see anyone else trying to leave do u?? :D

 

angrysmurf2: god help me survive this

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kid u not this took 3 hours to write ndkjksdkjjs i hope it made u laugh lmao. also my kids are together im happy :'). YOU GUYS BTS MADE IT ON THE HOT100 IM SO PROUD OF THEM MY BABIES MADE IT. i'm telling you, bangtan are making history and army will be right here to support them. love bts , love army! lets stay together with bts forever!! love yourself everyone :').


	5. hajimaAaaA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone should just hajimaAaaA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- unedited sorry for any mistakes -
> 
> hi yes i'm still alive ( barely ) lol surprise!!!!!!!! if you follow me on twitter ( shameless self promo fw me @squishy_hopemon and become my friend! ) you'd know ive been severely sick the past week or so and i reallu havent been using my phone much - except for voting for bts on MWAVE which u should be doing instead of reading this shitty fic lol - GO GO ARMY WE CAN DO IT FOR OUR BOYS!!! ily everyone and im sorry for being a sucky author lmfao. i probably wont be uploading a lot because tests are starting and if i remember right on pied piper i was told to study so.... 
> 
> i swear normal ppl study to secure their future and make their family proud, meanwhile i'm studying because bangtan told me to :D!! I LOVE BEING BTS TRASH LOL YES!!! hope you liked this one and i hope it made you laugh or smile :) love yourself <3 
> 
> ps. i love vernon so much ok hes the cutest baby in the world

**' you will be missed '**

 

**amajing, agustD, jeoncena and pervertedsquare are online**

 

 

 

Amajing: listen kids I swear to jisoos if none of ur b!tch asses admits who ate my Oreo I will-

 

Jeoncena: chillllllll

 

Amajing: I

 

Amajing: AM

 

Amajing: CHILL

 

Pervertedsquare: ummm...excuse me?

 

Amajing: IT WAS YOU RIGHT? I KNEW IT U LITTKE SHIT

 

AgustD: and he still blames him for everything -_-

 

pervertedsquare: i'm sorry but whose phone is this??

 

Jeoncena: LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO NICE

 

AgustD: lmfao

 

Amajing: REALLY KIM NAMJOON??!!! REALLY HEO???

 

Pervertedsquare: I'm being completely serious, I found this phone in the bathroom's in the coffee shop I work at. I'm not Kim Namjoon

 

Amajing: um...

 

Jeoncena: wait u serious?

 

Pervertedsquare: completely

 

AgustD: y'all this is Namjoon I kinda believe it

 

**Imurhope is online**

 

Imurhope: yo has anyone seen joon's phone???

 

Jeoncena: well then...

 

Imurhope: oh

 

Imurhope: hi totally random stranger who witnessed Seokjin's weirdness. Which coffee shop are u at?

 

Imurhope: nvm Namjoon is coming 

 

Imurhope: Can you please stay there

 

Pervertedsquare: yes of coarse

 

Amajing: on a real note

 

Amajing: ur an angel????

 

Pervertedsquare: ah thanks

 

Pervertedsquare: but why doesn't the phone have a password???

 

AgustD: guess Joon knew he would do something stupid like this

 

Jeoncena: but isn't it still stupid???? What if this person just stole hyung's phone

 

Jeoncena: what if they went through his pictures and exposed him since he's famous

 

Pervertedsquare: nah I wouldn't

 

Pervertedsquare: I'm kinda famous too..

 

Pervertedsquare: if it makes you feel better, I'll send a selca??

 

Imurhope: yes do it

 

Imurhope: I'll send one too :3

 

Pervertedsquare: btw I'm Hansol :D.

 

Amajing: OMG

 

Jeoncena: awwwwww

 

Imurhope: WHAT HES SO CUTE

 

Pervertedsquare: thannksss lol

 

Imurhope: I'm Hoseok :3 call me J-Hope though

 

 

 

AgustD: d i m p l e s

 

Pervertedsquare: WAIT J-HOPE AS IN [~~@~~ **JhopeOfficial**](https://twitter.com/JhopeOfficial) ?????????

 

Imurhope: yes omg

 

Pervertedsquare: OMG IM A BIG FAN OF YOURS!!!! Hyung is so awesome sndjdjdisidicicoci

 

Imurhope: AWWW YOU'RE SO CUTE THX!!!!!

 

**Cupoftae and Mochi are online**

 

cupoftae: hiiiiiii hyungs

 

Jeoncena: am I a vase

 

mochi: hiii hyungs and kook

 

Jeoncena: ily jiminie hyung

 

Cupoftae: wOw Hansol as in artist Vernon?? I saw some of ur drawings and ur rlly good :P

 

Pervertedsquare: haha yup that's me :3:3 thx so much

 

Cupoftae: also look Namjoon is being an idiot again lol

 

mochi: nothing new here

 

Imurhope: MAKNAES SHUT UR LITTLE ASSES UP BEFORE I SMACK YOU TO TRASH LAND CAUSE THATS WHERE YOU BELONG

 

Pervertedsquare: oh damn

 

AgustD: that's my boy :')

 

mochi: Yoongi hyung wtf I thought u loved me

 

AgustD: what's love idk him

 

Jeoncena: this joke is getting old don't u think? How many times was it used in this fic??? ( that rhyme tho )

 

Imurhope: wtf don't break the fourth wall ( better than tae lol )

 

Jeoncena: but I'm not?? The author is???

 

cupoftae: STOP ( square up )

 

Pervertedsquare: don't you mean..

 

pervertedsquare: hajimaAaa

 

AgustD: headlines headlines

 

Amajing: this should end here I-

 

Imurhope: but namjoonie didn't find his phone yet??

 

Amajing: jokes on u lol he found it

 

Pervertedsquare: but I'm still here?

 

Amajing: I sAiD hE fOunD iT

 

Amajing: ThIs wILl stOp bEfOrE aNy mOrE foUrtH wAlLs aRe brOkeN

 

Jeoncena: whatever ur no fun

 

mochi: what who

 

Jeoncena: I didn't speak to u???

 

Cupoftae: hobi hyung is the reason for this

 

AgustD: wdym don't blame him because jimin is mentally unstable

 

mochi: taetae hyung is being mean to me T^T

 

Cupoftae: don't worry mochi I'll just squish him <3

 

AgustD: b!tch you can't wake me up without praying to jisoos you want to try fighting me???

 

Cupoftae: aigoo...

 

Cupoftae: sad but true

 

Amajing: was it that one time Hoseok said to Jimin you're very no fun??? Because I lost so many brain cells trying to understand that sentence

 

Imurhope: oh nuuuuuu

 

Imurhope: jinnie hyung already had a tiny amount of brain cells :-: now he lost them all TTTTT

 

Jeoncena: so much savageness I'm suffocated

 

mochi: on a different note

 

mochi: remember when we couldn't spell??

 

Cupoftae: omg dnt mnetion i t bwcayse ill suddnely ton now how 2 spll

 

Jeoncena: this family I-

 

AgustD: okay but why don't you all finish your sentences like why do you always end with -

 

AgustD: another joke that's overused in this fic I-

 

pervertedsquare: HAJIMaAaaA

 

Imurhope: YOGNI WTF LAKSKKDKD

 

Pervertedsquare: wait a sec I just realized something

 

Pervertedsquare: how will Namjoon know me and how will I know him???

 

Amajing: well shit

 

AgustD: it's not that hard...? We'll just send you a pic of him

 

Jeoncena: lol that's what she said

 

Amajing: b!tch u grounded

 

Jeoncena: fite me

 

Imurhope: the cutest clumsiest fluffiest most adorable destructive monster in the world <3<3<3<3<3 ( the one on the left )

 

Pervertedsquare: are you serious because he's been standing there for a full ten minutes looking around and not noticing his phone In my hands shdjdjdjdjdjjd

 

Pervertedsquare: nice meeting you all

 

Pervertedsquare: my ID is vernonsheadline add me if ya like :D

 

AgustD: I'm so blocking you Hoseok ur such a cheater

 

Imurhope: BYE HANSOL-AH!! I WILL ADD U

 

Amajing: bye bye child, I'll add u too

 

mochi: BYEEEEE NICE TO MEET U

 

Cupoftae: buH BYE

 

Pervertedsquare: OMG HI I MISSED YOU ALL

 

Pervertedsquare: actually Hansol is the cutest little thing :')

 

Imurhope: I'm sorry Yoongi Namjoon is my fellow 94 liner

 

Amajing: JOONIE MY BABY I MISSED YOU

 

Jeoncena: so who ate Jinnie's Oreos

 

Pervertedsquare: awwwwwwww Hoseokie :(

 

Pervertedsquare: hi Jinnie <3

 

Pervertedsquare: maknae's you really want to be crushed don't you :)?

 

Mochi: Jungkook ur a demon child

 

Cupoftae: why is everyone talking about different subjects I'm so confused DX

 

Amajing: but who ate my oreo's :/?

 

**Pervertedsquare changed their username to ' hopemonislove '**

 

Imurhope: omg

 

**Imurhope changed their username to ' hopemonislife '**

 

AgustD: honestly I'm so done

 

Hopemonislife: GOD DAMN IT YOONGI I LOVE U

 

AgustD: shut up

 

mochi: omg Yoongi's upset Hoseok what's wrong with u

 

Hopemonislife: HAHSHSJDJ JIN HYUNG WHAT DO I DO

 

Hopemonislove: jealous yogni ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

AgustD: Jinnie hyung :(

 

Amajing: AWWWWWWWW

 

Amajing: IM KICKING YOU BOTH OUT

 

**Amajing removed hopemonislife and hopemonislove from groupchat**

 

mochi: bad hyungs (● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

 

cupoftae: BLOCKING THEM

 

Jeoncena: they're heartless ＼＼\٩(๑'^'๑)۶//／／

 

mochi: LETS GO FITE THEM

 

**Amajing, Jeoncena, cupoftae and mochi are offline**

 

AgustD: swag ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who ate jin's oreos's tho?


	6. jin's oreos tho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we find out who ate jin's oreos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow a new chapter..ALSO CONGRATS TO BTS ON MWAVE WIN YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! don't forget to vote on MAMA army fighting!!! love yourself <3

 

**' you will be missed '**

 

**everyone is online**

 

 

jeoncena: so guys i found out who ate jin's oreos 

 

amajing: coconut head say what

 

cupoftae: dont do it JK 

 

amajing: so it was you? 

 

mochi: dont do it kookie 

 

amajing: sO iT wAS yOU 

 

yoonhopemonislove: dont do it JK 

 

yoonhopemonislife: dont do it maknae

 

amajing: StOP fuKcinG wiTH mE yoU liTTlE sHItS 

 

AgustD: you are all so annoying 

 

amajing: your whole existence is annoying yet we never said anything 

 

yoonhopemonislife: oh shit 

 

**' yoonhopemonislife ' changed their username to ' RM '**

 

AgustD: whatever 

 

amajing: so who ate my oreos 

 

mochi:I NEED U GIRL WAE HONJA SARANGHAGO HONJASEOMAN IBYEOLHAE

 

  
cupoftae: I NEED U GIRL WAE DACHIL GEOL ALMYEONSEO JAKKU NIGA PIRYOHAE

 

jeoncena: DASI RUN RUN RUN 

 

amajing: yeah you better fukcing dasi run tf away 

 

RM: WHY IS HYUNG SO FUNNY ALL OF A SUDDEN 

 

**' yoonhopemonislove ' changed their username to ' hobi '**

 

hobi: lol true 

 

AgustD: G GIVE IT TO ME 

 

cupoftae: FAME FLASHLIGHT 

 

AgustD: G GIVE IT TO ME 

 

cupoftae: holy;lfkkk i just did a duet with agust d im cryijngbdjhsjhj

 

jeoncena: i feel sympathy for taehyung not even kidding 

 

cupoftae: well bicth i feel pity for u cuz jimin will never date ur ass 

 

jeoncena: at least jiminie hyung said he loves me so ha 

 

cupoftae: ....

 

AgustD: i love you taetae 

 

cupoftae: KDHHJKXFJVBJXFGJJDGJGVBFJHHG OH MY GID 

 

cupoftae: FUVK YOU COCONUT HEAD GO BLEND IN A PALM TREE 

 

mochi: LMFAOOOOOOOOO 

 

hobi: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

jeoncena: thx yogni

 

AgustD: np 

 

amajing: so ur not telling me who ate my oreos 

 

jeoncena: fukc that it was yoongi 

 

mochi: oh boy 

 

RM: rip coco 

 

mochi: cOCO FJJFHJHDJJ 

 

**mochi changed jeoncena's username to ' coco '**

 

 

coco: i hate u all 

 

amajing: number one thanks coco 

 

amajing: number two yogni u better get ur ass to the grocery store and buy me my oreos 

 

amajing: number three yogni u aint having dinner today bitch

 

AgustD: JK u better move out 

 

coco: seOKjiN hyUngIE 

 

amajing: im not responsible for anything that happens to you 

 

coco: BITCHHHH 

 

amajing: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME 

 

hobi: um so tomorrow we'll hold a praying circle for mr. jeon jungkook's soul who would like to participate   

 

mochi: he was a really sweet, cute boy so i would like to come 

 

cupoftae: he was my best friend even tho we argued a lot, we played overwatch together and had meals together.....i'll miss him 

 

RM: our maknae used to write songs, and go shopping for clothes with me. we had a lot of fun and i can't believe we lost him...

 

hobi: yeah...we always danced together along with chim. i miss him already 

 

coco: so um im packing my stuff and moving back to busan 

 

amajing: u better dasi run boi 

 

AgustD: i wonder whose this is 

 

coco: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO ON NO NOONNO NON N  OO  NOO N OO NO

 

mochi: idk do i laugh or cry 

 

cupoftae: wait is that mine or his because hyung i had no hand in this 

 

AgustD: stfu if u want urs to be safe

 

AgustD: also do u see the age number on this 

 

AgustD: so basically ur a 12 year old coconut head 

 

RM: LOLOLOL YOGNI 

 

hobi: y'all wild 

 

amajing: aniya he's not 12 hes 2 so he needs this

 

cupoftae: OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

 

hobi: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH

 

mochi: OOOHHHHHHHHH

 

coco: why is everyone against me all of a sudden 

 

AgustD: that's what happens when u try to snitch 

 

hobi: snitches get stitches bruh 

 

coco: i hate you all 

 

cupoftae: BRO KYS HES CRYING 

 

cupoftae: I ACTUALLY FOUND HIM CRYING 

 

mochi: WHAT

 

amajing: why do all the chapters end with someone being upset like 

 

hobi: why are u all obsessed with breaking the fourth wall all of a sudden

 

AgustD: i agree like is this going to be an overused joke 

 

amajing: nah let it die man ( like this fic ) 

 

cupoftae: you guys are really assholes 

 

mochi: omg is he really crying 

 

cupoftae: well u know that im-crying-but-im-not-crying face?? thats him rn 

 

RM: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww kookie 

 

amajing: omg baby  im sorry 

 

AgustD: im sorry too kook i wont break ur game like i planned 

 

hobi: POOR BABY MAKNAE 

 

hobi: hyung will buy u lots of food so cheer up okay?

 

Amajing: i'll cook ur favorite food for a month please dont be sad :( 

 

AgustD: i wont break ur game 

 

mochi: yoongi hyung wtf 

 

coco: IM NOT CRYING 

 

cupoftae: says the boy sobbing in my chest 

 

coco: HYUNG 

 

cupoftae: SEOKJIN AAND YOONGI ITS UR FAULT U BETTER MAKE IT UP FOR HIM 

 

AgustD: omg you brat i'll buy you a new game stop crying 

 

coco: really..?

 

AgustD: yes really i promise 

 

coco: okay 

 

cupoftae: OMG HES SO CUTE DONT EVEN TOUCH ME 

 

cupoftae: SO HE SNIFFLED LIKE THE CUTEST BUNNY IN THE WORLD AND WIPED HIS EYES WITH HIS SWEATER SLEEVE  AND STOPPED HIS CRYING AN DI JUST FEEL SO ATTACKED BECAUSE AFTERWARDS HE WAS LIKE HYUNGS ARENT ASSHOLES IM JUST SAD TODAYANDJKFDNK NJKK NKJCV 

 

AgustD: oh god oh god oh god jeon get ur ass dressed im coming to get you 

 

AgustD: you can buy the whole games store if you want idgaf 

 

hobi: kookie you better take this opportunity and use it well bfbjdvbvjxbvb

 

Amajing: wait for me lets take him out to eat 

 

RM: hey kook you've been complaining about ur ps4 controller right? i'll buy you a new one 

 

mochi: and you've been complaining about ur gaming chair right?? hyung will get u the most comfortable chair in the world 

 

cupoftae: im melting 

 

cupoftae: he has the cutest smile on his face i cant breathe 

 

mochi: at least we found out who ate jinnie's oreos 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> requests are open if you want them in a certain situation or if u want a ship i'm ready to write for you :D just tell me in the comments!!


	7. taking care of one Park Jimin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jiminie is insecure and his hyungs reassure him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was requested by @Pretty_sure_kpop_is_killing_me lmao I love you username btw. I hope you liked this and I wrote it the way you imagined haha <3

 

**' you will be missed '**

**Amajing, AgustD, Hobi, cupoftae and coco are online**

Cupoftae:  hyungs

 

Amajing: hey taetae

 

AgustD: ???

 

cupoftae: listen, Kook and I need to tell you something

 

Hobi: well shit Taehyung sounds serious for a change

 

Amajing: oh god what did you do?

 

cupoftae: we didn't do anything!! Hyung I'm really being serious right now

 

coco: yeah it's not a joke for real

 

Amajing: okay you're scaring me, what's wrong?

 

cupoftae: so did you all notice how Jiminie hasn't been in our apartment lately?

 

AgustD: yes

 

Amajing: yeah..he has this dance competition coming up right?

 

coco: well yeah but...

 

cupoftae: he's honestly practicing too much

 

cupoftae: I literally saw him practice until he had no strength in his legs. Not to mention he's been going to the gym for 6 hours straight

 

coco: and he hasn't been eating proper meals

 

cupoftae: we're just really worried about him. He's not being himself..

 

Amajing: what do you mean he's going to the gym?! He told me he just practices for two hours and then goes to read at the library.??

 

cupoftae: but he doesn't read???

 

AgustD: what do YOU mean he's going to the library???? He told me he got a part time job and goes to it after practice?????

 

cupoftae: oh my you're all oblivious

 

Hobi: why would he lie though?

 

coco: he knows you all wouldn't let him overwork himself

 

Amajing: omg I'm whooping his ass once I see him

 

**mochi is online**

 

mochi: hi hyungs

 

mochi: hi taetae and kook

 

Amajing: park Jimin

 

mochi: oh boy what did I do

 

Amajing: where do you go after practice Jimin? And be honest with me

 

mochi: why are you asking all of a sudden??

 

Amajing: read up

 

cupoftae: well....that's our cue kookie lols

coco: well it was nice while it lasted hyungs imma write my will now

 

**Cupoftae and coco are offline**

 

mochi: they're over exaggerating Hyung! I barely get any practice!

 

Hobi: no they're not

 

Hobi: you haven't been at the dorm more than three hours max, you're trying to convince us that you aren't practicing all that time?

 

Amajing: Jiminie you know we care about you right?

 

mochi: yeah..

 

AgustD: guess he's caught in a lie

 

Amajing: omg

 

Hobi: hyung...really?

 

mochi: LOL SO FUNNY YOONGI HYUNG YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR IS IMPROVING CAN YOU TWLL US A JOKE

 

Amajing: LOL OMG YES CAN YOU NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT

 

AgustD: Jiminie let's start with the basics

 

AgustD: you're practicing for your dance competition right?

 

mochi: yeah

 

Amajing: okay then baby you'll do amazing and we all know that..

 

Amajing: I'm not saying don't practice, I'm just saying that you should take care of yourself more darling

 

Hobi: you know a dancer's health is crucial Jiminie...you shouldn't just be good at dancing. Your body has a right and you shouldn't neglect it

 

AgustD: tae says you've been spending a lot of hours in the gym...why is that? If you get any thinner you'll disappear kid...

 

mochi: but hyung I'm not skinny enough

 

Amajing: EXCUJE ME??!!

 

hobi: oh my god baby what are you talking about?? 

  
**RM is online**

 

mochi: it's just...I don't like my body

 

mochi: I know it's pathetic of me and I'm a man and I shouldn't think like that but I can't help it

 

mochi: I just sometimes feel like I wanna change my body and my face and I really don't know

 

Amajing: oh my god Jimin

 

AgustD: why didn't you tell us earlier?

 

mochi: I didn't see the point..besides I didn't want you to think of me as a freak

 

mochi: oh god I sound so pathetic

 

Hobi: shut up Jimin

 

Hobi: we'll never see you as pathetic or weird

 

RM: its true nobody is perfect, but if such a person were to exist it'd be you Jimin

 

AgustD: ^^ x27372828838

 

Amajing: darling you're not fat, or ugly or pathetic

 

Amajing: you have the perfect build and honestly if you can't see how beautiful and handsome you are then I'm sorry but you're blind

 

AgustD: I know how it feels to hate yourself but Jiminie I promise it'll get better

 

AgustD: and you know how much I hate saying cliché shit but it'll be okay

 

Amajing: preach ^^

 

RM: and even though you don't love yourself you'll learn to

 

RM: either way, we love you

 

Hobi: preach ^^

 

Hobi: our Jiminie is amazing the way he is <3

 

RM: yes! Our Jiminie is perfect the way he is <3

 

Amajing: please Minnie always come to us when you're feeling down

 

AgustD: hyungs will always lift you up

 

mochi: I love you guys so much

 

mochi: I'm sorry I didn't come to any of you...I really just didn't want to be a burden or anything

 

Amajing: let me make one thing clear

 

Amajing: no dongsaeng of mine is a burden okay?

 

Amajing: I love you Jiminie and I'm always going to be here for you. Whenever and wherever you need me

 

Amajing: and this goes to all of you. You're my family

 

Hobi: oh man I love this family

 

AgustD: ^^

 

RM: ^^^

 

mochi: thank you hyungs..I'm grateful that I have you all in my life

 

AgustD: this is getting too cheesy for me so if anyone needs me don't call me

 

**AgustD is offline**

 

RM: also don't kill Taehyung and Jungkook

 

Hobi: LOL

 

mochi: oh that reminds me...

 

Amajing: oh god am I going to lose two maknaes?

 

RM: they came to me and were like        " Jiminie hyung is going to kill us ",            " Namjoon hyung how do I write a will "

 

Amajing: LMAO

 

Hobi: these kids I swear lolololololololol

 

mochi: aish

 

RM: you know...they were just worried about you

 

mochi: yeah I know... they could've talked to me at least before telling you all everything

 

Hobi: they're your dongsaengs, I don't think you would've taken them seriously

 

Hobi: when advice comes to you from someone who's older than you, naturally you're going to accept it

 

Hobi: but when it's someone who's younger than you, your mind subconsciously will tell you that they're younger, they don't know anything, therefore you won't listen to them

 

mochi: .......

 

RM: is this Jung Hoseok???

 

Amajing: ummm...Joonie are you using Hobi's phone?

 

Hobi: I hate u guys:)

 

mochi: thank you hyungs 

 

hobi: we're here for you 

 

RM: always 


	8. getting the negativity's out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> too much savageness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM NOT DEAD EVERYONE ( i feel like it tho im so sick ) so for the upload schedule- ok idk why but this makes me sound so cool lolol. lets hope i stick to it :D!! 
> 
> Fridays: I tried   
> Saturdays: You make me begin 
> 
> oh ps. this saturday i wont upload because i uploaded you make me begin already this week! i hope you guys are comfortable with that :) love y'all

**' you will be missed '**

 

**everyone is online**

 

Amajing: alright kids listen up

 

Amajing: I read somewhere that if you voice out the negativity's and what u don't like others doing then you will live ur life more positively

 

Amajing: so rn I want u all to say what u don't like others doing

 

Amajing: for example, I don't like when y'all pigs eat my food and don't replace it

 

AgustD: stop being salty about it I bought u ur food damn

 

coco: I don't like it when u gang up on me

 

AgustD: well look someone else is salty

 

Amajing: I don't like Yoongi's existence

 

AgustD: lol looks like we have something in common

 

Hobi: STFU I LIKE YOONGI'S EXISTENCE

 

Hobi: I LOVE UR EXISTENCE YOONGI PLZ KEEP ON EXISTING

 

Amajing: oh hope did u take out the trash??

 

Hobi: no in a sec

 

Amajing: okay when u do, make sure to stay there because that's where u belong

 

Cupoftae: OH SHIT

 

mochi: OH M YSUDYDUDUDUDU

 

RM: I don't like when Seokjin Hyung starts being a savage all of a sudden it scares me and I feel like I'll be targeted next

 

Amajing: I don't like when Namjoon writes long meaningless sentences

 

Mochi: I don't like when u guys call me short

 

Cupoftae: I don't like when...

 

Cupoftae: idk lol I'm not salty about anything

 

Hobi: I don't like when u guys don't pet my hair :(

 

Amajing: Hoseok that's not how it's supposed to go but okay

 

RM: I don't like when seokjin hyung acts like a sassy princess

 

Amajing: bitch I don't act, I AM a sassy princess

 

coco: I love seokjin Hyung so much like u guys don't understand

 

Amajing: thx baby I love you too

 

AgustD: but remember when seokjin and Namjoon loved each other? It was good times

 

Amajing: remember when Yoongi was relevant? Yeah me neither

 

Cupoftae: oh my god Hyung you should've just told us come here so I can drag all ur asses

 

mochi: I'm actually really scared to say anything

 

mochi: OH NY GOD HES TYPING PLZ HYUNG DONT DRAG ME

 

Amajing: um...so anyways

 

AgustD: seokbitch you better sleep with one eye open tonight

 

Amajing: I'm sorry what?

 

AgustD: bitch u heard me

 

Amajing: nah I didn't we're texting

 

AgustD: say bye to ur pink clothes

 

RM: ^^ this is why I don't mess with Yoongi hyung he doesn't diss u he just ruins ur shit

 

Amajing: TOUch mY PiNk cloThEs aNd yOu'rE dEad MiN yOonGi

 

mochi: ur all so odd

 

AgustD:

 

cupoftae: JSJDJDJDJJD

 

mochi: um Jin hyung I have another thing I don't like

 

Amajing: yes what is it child?

 

Mochi: Yoongi

 

RM: ' thing ' LMAO

 

coco: LOL

 

Cupoftae: WEYLL DAYM

 

AgustD: sorry what was that?

 

RM: I CANT BREATHE

 

Hobi: IDKKSSJJSKSKS YOONGI HSHS

 

Amajing:

 

RM: LMFAOOO

 

mochi:

AgustD: ZKNSSNJDJDJD

 

Hobi: LOL I LOVE THIS FAMILY

 

RM: guys I have an announcement

 

coco: what is it dad

 

Amajing: um....

 

cupoftae: yeah daddy what is it

 

mochi: why

 

AgustD: that's my line mochi don't steal it

 

Hobi: daddy are u going to tell us what it is??

 

RM: bye.

 

**RM is offline**

 

Coco: tHatS whAt yOu gEt fOr cAlLiNg mE cOcO biThC

 

coco: plz do note I didn't say bi t c h I said bithc okay? Ok thx for listening

 

cupoftae: why are you so cute

 

mochi: I-

 

Amajing: this love triangle got me dizzy y'all

 

Hobi: no no it's easy hyung

 

Hobi: basically, Jimin is in love with tae, tae wants coco and coco wants Jimin

 

AgustD: and Hoseokie loves me

 

Hobi: where did u get that from

 

Amajing: OH MY GAAHHH

 

Mochi: hello darkness my old friend

 

Cupoftae: all around me are familiar faces

 

coco: when they ask you how you are and you say that you're fine when you're really not but you just can't get into it because they'll never understand

 

AgustD: brb kms with a straw

 

Hobi: jk ily man

 

AgustD: no homo bro

 

Hobi: no homo bro

 

mochi: on all seriousness though, I met a girl

 

coco: WHAT WHO WHEN WHY WHERE

 

Amajing: JDJDJDJDJDJJD MY BABY YES I'LL FINALLY HAVE GRANDKIDS

 

cupoftae: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

mochi: she's really amazing

 

mochi: and the cutest I've ever seen

 

Hobi: awwwww what does she look like?

 

mochi:

 

AgustD: why

 

cupoftae: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

coco: fuvk you park Jimin

 

coco: plz do note I didn't say f u c k I said fuvk okay? Ok thx for listening

 

Amajing: YOU'RE SO CUTE COCO ILY SO MUCH

 

coco: I love you too mommy

 

AgustD: I can't keep up with y'all

 

Hobi: jiminie wow your gf is so hot

 

mochi: ikr

 

Hobi: does she have a sister

 

mochi: yeah want me to introduce u?

 

Hobi: yes plz omg we can have a double wedding

 

AgustD: why do u insist on cheating on me hoeseok

 

Hobi: lol soz I found someone prettier

 

AgustD: ur mean :(

 

cupoftae: I'll date u hyung

 

AgustD: no

 

mochi: what about me??

 

AgustD: maybe

 

mochi: oh man holy shit

 

coco: whatever I'm dating Yugyeom anyways

 

cupoftae: no ur not

 

coco: STFU KIM TAEHYUNG YOU DONT KNOW ME YOU DONT KNOW MY STORY

 

cupoftae: kim Taehyung

 

Amajing: GUYS NAMJOON IS PREGNANT

 

AgustD: why

 

cupoftae: OMG BUT I THOUGHT U WERE THE MOM IN THE RELATIONSHIP

 

Amajing: what relationship

 

coco: well damn

 

Hobi: our parents broke up shit

 

mochi: but how

 

Amajing: idk man he's fat

 

Hobi: ...........

 

**RM is online**

 

RM: I'm not a pig like u tho

 

AgustD: OH MY GAAHHHH

 

Amajing: bye 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you like this? lol i love making seokjin savage ;) if you have a request, or a ship you want dont hesitate to comment :D!! love yourself and dont forget to vote on MAMA ( they're snakes but we can do it )


	9. everyone's shipped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> really its a mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well lookie here im updating on schedule!! you guys i can't even begin to describe how proud i am of our boys! they're growing so much and getting the fame and happiness they deserve! lets keep supporting them and lets work hard for our boys! don't forget to vote on MAMA and love yourself <3

 

**' you will be missed '**

 

**Amajing and coco are online**

 

 

 

coco: hyungs I wanna show u something

 

Amajing: what???

 

Amajing: also why are u awake its late

 

coco: i'm a night owl hyung 

 

**AgustD is online**

 

coco: oh boy 

 

AgustD: do u have an idea what time it is you little piece of filth 

 

coco: hyung this concerns u 

 

AgustD: coco says what

 

coco: look

 

coco:

 

coco:

 

AgustD: shOoK

 

Amajing: ok but aw so cute :(

 

coco: IKR

 

**Cupoftae is online**

Cupoftae: LETS TALK ABOUT HOW JUNGKOOK HAS HOPEMON'S NOTIFS ON AHDJDJ

 

coco: I have all of ur notifs on

 

Amajing: idk do I find it cute or creepy

 

Cupoftae: aish hopemon are friendship goals :(

 

coco: ikr notice how they have each other's user's in their bio's

 

Cupoftae: YES ITS SO CUTE

 

Cupoftae: I wanna do that with jiminie :(

 

coco: suddenly I feel left out

 

Cupoftae: ok fiiiiinneeee I'll put u in my bio too

 

Amajing: so yoongi

 

Amajing: wanna do it with me :3??

 

AgustD: brb kms

 

**AgustD is offline**

Amajing: lol ok then

 

**coco added ' hopemonislove ' and ' hopemonislife ' to the groupchat**

Cupoftae: ugh they're so cute it's disgusting

 

**hopemonislife is online**

 

coco: What happened to sope tho :'(

 

Hopemonislife: SOPE IS STILL ALIVE OKAY?

 

Hopemonislife: where's Yoongi :(

 

Hopemonislife: I feel bad :(

 

**AgustD is online**

AgustD: I'm upset with u don't even direct words to me

 

Hopemonislife: yooooonnnnnnn yooooooonnnn I love uuuuuuuu

 

AgustD: no

 

Amajing: yo u messed up

 

cupoftae: u go yoongi hyung

 

**Hopemonislove is online**

AgustD: oh a snake is here

 

Hopemonislove: YOONGI HYUNG ILYSM

 

AgustD: wtf

 

coco: they're double teaming u

 

Hopemonislife: WE'RE THE RAP LINE WE MUST UNITE

 

Hopemonislove: honestly hyung I love ur small jealous ass plz don't be mad at us :(

 

Hopemonislife: ^^^^^

 

**Hopemonislife changed their username to ' Yoonhopemonislife '**

 

Yoonhopemonislife: that took a lot of concentration thank u very much

 

**Hopemonislove changed their username to ' YoonHopemonislove '**

Cupoftae: wtf I want in

 

Cupoftae: MOCHI WHERE U AT

 

AgustD: ..whatever

 

coco: lol seokjin hyung let's be like them

 

Amajing: okay jk it seems we only have each other :')

 

**Amajing changed their username to**  
**' JinKook4life '**

**coco changed their username to**  
**' Jinkook4ever '**

Cupoftae: this is getting confusing

 

Jinkook4ever: ikr even the author is confused

 

Jinkook4life: JEON JUNGKOOK I SWEAR U AND THAT FOURTH WALL

 

Jinkook4ever: we got issues

 

Jinkook4ever: but everyone's got them too

 

Cupoftae: stop singing ur voice is making me deaf

 

Jinkook4ever: iM soRrY?!!!!!

 

Jinkook4ever: U DARE INSULT MY ANGELIC VOICE?!!!!

 

Jinkook4life: but I agree?! ^^^

 

**Mochi is online**

 

Mochi: wtf I don't enter the gc for half a day and this happens??!!!! Y'all wild

 

Cupoftae: CHIMCHIM

 

Mochi: nope

 

Mochi: not doing it

 

Cupoftae: chimmmmmmiiiieeeeeee pleaassseeeeeeeeee :(

 

Mochi: no

 

Cupoftae: I'll buy you ice cream

 

 **Mochi changed their username to**  
**' vminlife** '

Cupoftae: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Cupoftae changed their username to**  
**' vminizreal '**

Jinkook4life: SO IT WAS YOU WHO ATE MY MISSING ICE CREAM YOU LITTLE SHIT

 

AgustD: but why is seokjin's food always getting eaten 

 

yoonhopemonislove: cause he's the only pig that buys junk food

 

jinkook4life: you will be missed Kim Namjoon

 

vminlife: whaaa??? I hate ice cream so much like u don't get it hyung

 

vminlife: I just wanted to shut tae up I didn't do it for the ice cream nope not at all lol

 

Jinkook4life: y'all bout to lose a mochi and a clumsy giant

 

Yoonhopemonislife: if u hate it so much, explain why I found a wrapper of eaten ice cream under ur bed :3

 

vminlife: wHy wErE yOu loOkiNg uNdEr mY bEd aNywaYs???!!!!

 

Yoonhopemonislife: I was taking my porn magazines duh

 

vminlife: WHY WOULD THEY BE UNDER MY BED UR A PERVERT IS2G

 

Yoonhopemonislife: yoongi wouldn't know its there...DuH

 

AgustD: but now I do???

 

Yoonhopemonislife: ....

 

Yoonhopemonislife: well shit  
  



	10. wtf is going on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know fam it's supposed to be up at the weekend but I was busy doing...tHinGs x2 
> 
> my birthday was yesterday so don't be too mad at me lol ily guys

  
**' my kids united '**

 

angrysmurf2: cypher is coming y'all

 

Brownie97: omg what happened

 

angrysmurf2: a b!tch happened

 

Brownie97: Hdjdjdjdjdj

 

Amajing: MIN YOONGL

 

angrysmurf2: uh....

**Brownie97 changed angrysmurf2's username to MinYoongl**

MinYoongl: idk a min Yoongl y'all know her?

 

angrysmurf: never heard of her

 

CupOfTae: idk her

 

Amajing: MIN YOONGI

 

MinYoongl: yeah :D?

 

Amajing: WHAT THE FUCK DID WE SAY ABOUT CURSING

 

MinYoongl: idk you just did

 

Amajing: square tf up b!tch baby I'm your mom

 

MinYoongl: b!tch baby I-

 

Pervertedsquare: PFFFTTT

 

MinYoongl: stfu furry

 

Pervertedsquare: 1-STOP CALLING ME THAT

 

Pervertedsquare: 2-why so aggressive Min Yoongl

 

MinYoongl: f u r r y

 

**' Pervertedsquare changed their username to RM '**

 

dontparkmerideme: now I know the reason behind the chapter name

 

Jeoncena: OH NO A FOURTH WALL HAS BEEN BREECHED 

 

cupoftae: CALL THE POLIZ

 

mochi: WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO

 

Dontparkmerideme: and Yoongi stop cursing so much like wow

 

MinYoongl: YOU BRAT IM YOUR HYUNG

 

Dontparkmerideme: IM YOUR MOM

 

MinYoongl: I have three moms now this is nice

 

Dontparkmerideme: that's why ur so gay

 

MinYoongl: cypher everyone, look forward to it :D

 

CupOfTae: hyung

 

MinYoongl: no

 

CupOfTae: I CaN rAp

 

CupOfTae: PKEASE HUYNG I WANNA BE IN CYPHER LIKE U DONT KNOW HIW KUCH I LOVE YOU IM YOUR BUGGES T FAN IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD I HAVE A HSRINE FOR U PLEASE UR MY OPPA AND SENPAI SHDJJD

 

MinYoongl: I'm blocking him

 

MinYoongl: i didn't even understand half the shit he said

 

mochi: well lemme begin

 

mochi: please Hyung I wanna be in cypher like you don't know how much I love you I'm your biggest fan in the whole entire world I have a shrine for you please you're my oppa and senpai

 

Jeoncena: oh my he's whipped

 

Jeoncena: BUT TAEHYUNG! You have a shrine for Hyung????

 

MinYoongl: bye i'm blocking him and deleting his number

 

Jeoncena: get a restraining order while you're at it

 

MinYoongl: good idea coconut head

 

BamBam: yoongi Hyung is my role model

 

Jeoncena: oh no his future is fukced

 

Amajing: ...

 

Imurhope: Jin Hyung rn

  
Amajing: accurate

 

Sunshinejae: omo I just realized something

 

Jeoncena: what??

 

Sunshinejae: know who else is whipped??

 

Jeoncena: who?

 

SunshineJae: you :3

 

Jeoncena: I aM nOt

 

Sunshinejae: u sure? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Amajing: I CaN sMelL tHe tEa

 

Sunshinejae: ho ho ho I HaVe a wHoLe teApoT rEadY tO bE spElT

 

Amajing: that's why ur my favorite :')

 

Mochi: I'm hurt????

 

Amajing: don't worry mochi Ily too

 

Sunshinejae:  that's code for he loves me more ^^

 

mochi: choi Youngjae u brat

 

angrysmurf: he's my brat <3

 

sunshinejae: oppaaaa .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

 

MinYoongl: y'all are a bunch of idiots

 

BamBam: ur my role model tho

 

Imurhope: WELL SHIT

 

MinYoongl: write ur will Kunpimook Bhuwakul and sleep with both eyes open tonight :3

 

MinYoongl: actually u better make the most out of ur life and not waste it on sleeping :3

 

BamBam: I'm actually kinda scared rn wtf

 

BamBam: he spelled my name right??????

 

WangPuppy: I'll protect u don't worry

 

WangPuppy: I can hold Yoongi Hyung back with one hand 

 

MinYoongl: I can tell u this cypher will be the best one yet

 

CupOfTae: I herd cypher

 

MinYoongl: you 'herd' nothing

 

Angrysmurf: kids stop fighting

 

MinYoongl: I hope u all drown with sharks and get eaten alive

 

Jeoncena: plz hyung I'm a smol innocent child I don't need these violet images in my brain thx

 

Brownie97: wdym I love Violet it's a nice color

 

Jeoncena: choke

 

Brownie97: on what? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Dontparkmerideme: KIM YUGYEOM

 

Brownie97: oh god I forgot he was here

 

Dontparkmerideme: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE

 

dontparkmerideme: ITS HYUNG TO YOU LITTLE BRAT I-

 

PrinceTuan: omg calm down Jinyoungie

 

Sunshinejae: suddenly he's not mad anymore and is staring at his phone with heart shaped eyes

 

BamBam: suddenly Youngjae is being choked to death by a certain eomma

 

WangPuppy: I rlly wanna type what's happening in front of me but I'm scared I'll face the same fate

 

Angrysmurf: wHo's mEsSinG wiTh mY YounGjaE

 

Sunshinejae:  writing my sill

 

Sunshinejae: ily JB

 

Angrysmurf: ily2

 

Amajing: and instead of going to rescue him he's content with just replying.

 

Jeoncena: someone explain what is going on rn

 

RM: nothing much you're just too stupid to realize it

 

Jeoncena: square up clumsy

RM: I don't even care about the disrespect anymore I swear to god

 

mochi: here's a picture to make you all calm dowN

 

  
Jeoncena: oh my god

 

Jeoncena: I'm dying

 

Jeoncena: I m shaking

 

Jeoncena: wtf he's so betaufiul I'm sjjdjddjjdjd 

 

jeoncena: seNd hlp 

 

**Jeoncena, cupoftae, sunshinejae, imurhope, amajing, dontparkmerideme and RM took a screenshot**

 

Brownie97: I think he's having a stroke should we help?

 

BamBam: Nah he'll be fine

 

CupOfTae: JIMINIIIEEEEEEE

 

MinYoongl: I want to punch u since I didn't calm down

 

Dontparkmerideme: LMAO

 

mochi: Hyung so mean :-:

 

CupOfTae:

 

  
Imurhope: DAYM BOI

 

mochi: TAETAEEEEE

 

**mochi, imurhope, amajing, princetuan, coco, RM, wangpuppy and BamBam took a screenshot**

 

princetuan: omg 

 

Amajing: u got ur Eomma's genes :')

 

MinYoongl: high quality pics right here 

 

WangPuppy: HYUNG IS SO SARCASTIC I LOVE IT

 

Jeoncena: why is everyone sending selfies I want in too

 

Jeoncena:

 

  
**Amajing, mochi, brownie97, BamBam, wangpuppy, angrysmurf, sunshinejae, princetuan, cupoftae, imurhope and dontparkmerideme took a screenshot**

 

Amajing: MY BABY GOT HIS MOMMA'S GENES TOO I SWEAR I-

 

mochi: OMOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Brownie97: WOW HYUNG I'M KINDA IN LOVE WITH U?

 

BamBam: " kinda "

 

Brownie97: stfu kunpimook 

 

BamBam: lord help me before I slap dis ho-

 

MinYoongl:

 

  
**Imurhope, mochi, Amajing, CupOfTae, GodOfDestruction, Jeoncena, BamBam, WangPuppy, angrysmurf, sunshinejae, princetuan, brownie97 and Dontparkmerideme took a screenshot**

 

Imurhope: IM CRYING LITERAL TEARS

 

mochi: THIS IS MY NEW BG NOT EVEN KIDDING

   
CupOfTae: new pic added to the shrine sndjsjdjdjdjsjdjdjdjd

 

Jeoncena: how can he be so cute yet so aggressive I'm crying

 

Amajing: Yoongi plz stay little ok like jdjdjdjd

 

BamBam: jinyoung eomma can we adopt him

 

Dontparkmerideme: yes we can

 

Amajing: KeeP yOuR hAndS tO yOuR KiDs

 

Imurhope: I'm legit crying like you don't get it

 

Imurhope: 

 

  
mochi: HAHSHAHAHAAHAHHAAHJSSJSJDJ

 

BamBam: LMFAOOOO

 

RM: I love how he was being sarcastic when anyone sent a selca but when he did we're all whipped??????

 

Imurhope: OC BOI THIS IS MIN YOONGL WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

 

MinYoongl: yah I'm D boi

 

CupOfTae: A TO THE G TO THE U TO THE STD IM D BOI BECAUSE IM FROM D

 

MinYoongl: I swear-

 

CupOfTae: Hyung ily why are u so mean to me TT

 

CupOfTae: NEOMUHAE NEOMUHAE

 

BamBam: HES LIKE TT JUST LIKE TT

 

CupOfTae: *dabdab*

 

BamBam: *Infinite dabs*

 

MinYoongl: lord I pray for u to fix their brains and help them~ can I get an amen?

 

RM: amen

 

Brownie97: amen brotha

 

angrysmurf: amen ( ◠‿◠ )

 

Jeoncena: amen .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

 

Sunshinejae: amen :')

 

CupOfTae: NEOMUHAE NEOMUHAE

 

BamBam: NEOMUHAE NEOMUHAE

 

CupOfTae: TTTT

 

Amajing: I'm so done

 

Angrysmurf: but when are u not


	11. Savage Yoongi makes a lot of entrances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's a plot anyways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's a schedule anyways
> 
> *WARNNG* 
> 
> THIS INCLUDES DARK HUMOR, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

**'My kids united'**

 

**WangPuppy, bambam, RM, cupoftae, Jeoncena and brownie97 are online**

 

RM: idfk I'm not Wikipedia

 

Wangpuppy: wha

 

RM: oh sorry wrong gc lol

 

Jeoncena: there's so much salt yoongi would be salt instead of suga

 

Brownie97: kick him out

 

Cupoftae: I second it

 

bambam: I third it

 

Wangpuppy: but monie you kinda are a Wikipedia???!

 

RM: shut up Jackson

 

Wangpuppy: am I even counted as a hyung

 

Cupoftae: it's okay Jackson hyung, Namjoon is just taking revenge on u because we disrespect him so much

 

RM: nah I just disrespect him because I want to

 

Wangpuppy: wtf

 

Bambam: excuje me don't disrespect my favorite Hyung

 

RM: or?

 

Jeoncena: OH DAMN JOON HYUNG

 

Brownie97: OOOOOOOOH

 

Cupoftae: OOOOOOOOOOOOOH

 

Bambam: so suddenly I remember I had things to do

**BamBam is offline**

 

RM: lmao

 

Wangpuppy: BETRAYED

 

Jeoncena: this gc is dead where's mochi

 

RM: ikr where's mochi at

 

Cupoftae: why tho

 

Jeoncena: cause it seems the author is really good at writing scenarios including Jimin

 

wangpuppy: why do u keep doing this jungkook

 

Jeoncena: how'd u know I did this before ur not with us in our gc

 

Wangpuppy: the author knows bruh how else do u think

 

Brownie97: is this going to be another overused joke???

 

Jeoncena: nah imma let it die today lol

 

RM: on a serious note ( as serious as a crack fic can get )

 

Jeoncena: what?? ( AYE NAMJOON HYUNG WELCOME TO THE FAMILY MAN )

 

brownie97: SERIOUSLY STOP

 

Wangpuppy: don't u mean

 

Wangpuppy: haji-haji-haji-haji-hajima

 

RM: u disgust me

 

Jeoncena: so anyways

 

**mochi is online**

 

Mochi: like I know God hates me and I'm the least favorite child but damn this is too much I'm going to literally drown myself in acid

 

Jeoncena: hi my favorite hyung in the whole world

 

mochi: stfu maknae

 

RM: omg

 

Jeoncena: I....

 

Wangpuppy: AWWW I FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM

 

Wangpuppy: don't worry Kookie I'll be ur new favorite hyung

 

Jeoncena: no thank u Jiminie is good

 

Brownie97: omg

 

cupoftae: what the hell mochi kys

 

mochi: so anyways

 

mochi: today I woke up on the wrong side of my bed and I burned myself while attempting to make coffee

 

Cupoftae: oh so that's the scream I heard

 

Mocha : you heard me scream and didn't think to check up on me :)?

 

Cupoftae: sorry I was too lazy

 

Jeoncena: TAEHYUNG WHATS WRONG WITH YOU

 

wangpuppy: LMFAO ME

 

RM: are you ok now though?

 

Mochi: it hurts a bit but I'm okay

 

Mochi: so after that I went to the studio to practice some choreography but then I couldn't get that ONE move right and it frustrated me so much I fucking threw my phone on the floor and now it has this ugly crack and I feel like I'm two seconds away from crying

 

RM: awwwwwwwwwwwwww Jiminie don't be sad

 

Jeoncena: hyung don't cry TTTTT

 

cupoftae: it's okay Jiminie! You're an amazing dancer and I'm sure you'll get that move down in time! Please don't give up

 

Jeoncena: wow taehyung said something smart for a change

 

wangpuppy: awww don't be too upset, it's okay

 

wangpuppy: if u need any help we're here for you <3

 

mochi: thank you

 

RM: omg I feel so bad

 

Cupoftae: ilysm Jiminie

 

Mochi: love you too

 

Jeoncena: omg

 

Jeoncena: I LOVE YOU HYUNG

 

Mochi: I love you too

 

Jeoncena: omg I can actually die happily now

 

**MinYoongl is online**

 

MinYoongl: what did I miss

 

wangpuppy: Jiminie's meltdown

 

Mochi: hyung

 

MinYoongl: are you okay??

 

MinYoongl: wait lemme scroll up

 

Wangpuppy: wow hyung is actually making an effort to scroll up I'm proud?

 

RM: I KNOW RIGHT??!!!

 

Wangpuppy: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO MIN YOONGL

 

RM: BRING OUR ROCK BACK PLZ

 

MinYoongl: first of all, man the fuck up

 

MinYoongl: the Jimin I know ain't a quitter

 

MinYoongl: second of all, Jackson and Namjoon go jump in a ditch

 

Mochi: thx...I guess?

 

Jeoncena: I wanna hug Jimin

 

RM: you always want to hug Jimin 

 

MinYoongl: np, hyung is always here to make everything better

 

mochi: yeah right

 

RM: ooooooh he sassed you

 

Wangpuppy: whatcha goin do bout it Yoongl hyung

 

MinYoongl: can someone please kick Jackson and Namjoon out already

 

Brownie97: ^^^^ x2

 

Brownie97: I lose brain cells trying to understand their stupidity

 

WangPuppy: stfu crybaby

 

Brownie97: IM NOT A CRYBABY

 

**Mochi is offline**

 

Cupoftae: guys Jimin is so cute I'm dying

 

Cupoftae: he's laying next to me curled up like a kitten andndudjdjdjdjdjdjdj

 

Jeoncena: WTF TAEHYUNG YOU TRAITOR

 

Jeoncena: IM COMING

 

RM: that sounds so wrong...

 

Brownie97: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Wangpuppy: YUGYEOM YOU PERVERT

 

Jeoncena: I can't breathe

 

Jeoncena: park Jimin has cut my air supply off

 

Jeoncena: he's literally curled up into tae's side Wearing the cutest jumper I've seen he looks so adorable I can't

 

RM: I got a nosebleed imagining it

 

**WangPuppy has changed RM's username to 'JiminEnthusiast'**

 

JiminEnthusiast: where's the lie tho 

 

wangpuppy: also 

 

**WangPuppy has changed Brownie97's username to 'Pervertedmaknae'**

 

PervertedMaknae: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Jeoncena: finally someone agrees

 

PervertedMaknae: at least I ain't a 21 year old virgin

 

Jeoncena: THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET YOU BITCH

 

Jeoncena: I TRUSTED YOU KIM YUGYEOM WHY ARE YOU PLAYING ME DIRTY

 

PervertedMaknae: boi you started it

 

Jeoncena: JACKSON DID NOT ME

 

Wangpuppy: *casually watches chaos unfold*

 

JiminEnthusiast: *Joins in watching*

 

JiminEnthusiast: *that doesn't mean I won't make fun of you Jungvirgin just wait for it*

 

Wangpuppy: JUNGVIRGIN LMAO

 

**Wangpuppy changed Jeoncena's username to 'JungVirgin'**

 

PervertedMaknae: oh u r8

 

PervertedMaknae: sorry lol

 

MinYoongl: I literally disappear for like three minutes and you start picking on him

 

MinYoongl: First off Kim hoe at least he doesn't shove his dick inside everything that has two legs and could walk

 

PervertedMaknae: omg

 

MinYoongl: second off, Namjoon you should stick to ur anime pillows and stay out of this convo

 

JiminEnthusiast: HTUBG WTF

 

Wangpuppy: O lord O lord, I have sinned please protect my soul and I'll repent

 

PervertedMaknae: PFFFTTT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

JiminEnthusiast: JACKSON WTF IS WRONG WITH U LMAO

 

MinYoongl: third off Jackson, at least he doesn't go around calling himself daddy and forcing others to agree with him

 

PervertedMaknae: SHOTS FIRED SHOTS FIRED SEND IN ALL UNITS

 

JiminEnthusiast: hello darkness my old friend

 

wangpuppy: 

 

**MinYoongl has changed JungVirgins's username to 'Cocopuffs'**

 

Cocopuffs: ily Yoongi hyung

 

Cocopuffs: even tho I got dissed but u da real MVP

 

MinYoongl: np, hyung is always here to make everything better

 

PervertedMaknae: hyung I'm kinda depressed now like how do I make it better

 

MinYoongl: kys

 

JiminEnthusiast: woah woah woah chill hyung that's a bit of a dark humor there

 

MinYoongl: who said it was humor

 

Wangpuppy: um...so this should end here before the author writes anymore stuff that some people will probably be offended by ( also promise this is the last time the fourth wall will be broken cuz it's honestly overused y'all ) 

 

Cocopuffs: I agree.

 

MinYoongl: let's check up on jiminie first

 

**'Private chat'**

 

Sooga: hey kid you awake?

 

Sooga: no?

 

mochi: hey hyung

 

Sooga: how u feeling?

 

Mochi: better since taetae is here

 

Sooga: that's good..

 

Sooga: well, don't be sad okay

 

Mochi: lol okay hyungie

 

Sooga: good...

 

Sooga: I'm in my room, don't call me if u need anything.

 

Mochi: .....

 

Sooga: that's what Seokjin's for dude

 

Mochi: I sigh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -this note did not exist the first time the chapter was uploaded- 
> 
> I probably should've said this earlier but hey! If you get offended or upset by dark humor then my books ( do note I said bookS ) are not for you. I don't joke in things I don't go through because that would be TOO heartless of me. That's my style in writing ( you'd know if you read my other work which is much more darker than this ) and really I knew people would get upset, but I didn't think it would be taken so seriously. Really my way of coping with shit is joking about it, so if you don't like that, then kindly don't read. I'm still going to apologize for any inconvenience I caused anyone, but I won't change how I write. I'm sorry and thanks for all of you who actually enjoy my books and are still here to read it. Love yourself everyone.


	12. paRadoX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi's bored so shit happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently the pictures aren't visible :// so I'll put a link in the beginning of the chapter so you can read it! 
> 
> Love y'all and sorry for the inconvenience:(. I can't seem to figure out why it's not showing :-:

[click here ](https://my.w.tt/UiNb/1tZFEEcqRI)

 

Yoongi: Seokie

 

Hobi: yoon-yoon!!!!!

 

Yoongi: I'm bored

 

Hobi: ok Hyung do I look like a clown to u lmao

 

Yoongi: well yeah

 

Hobi: mean :-:

 

Yoongi: I swear if you say that-

 

Hobi: NEOMUHAE NEOMUHAE

 

**Yoongi has blocked you**

 

**Group chat ' you will be missed '**

 

Hobi: MIN YoOngI hOw dArE YoU

 

Yoongi: Seokjin hyung I have an unknown profile in the gc can u make me an admin so I can remove it???????

 

Hobi: DONT BE FOOLED HE MEANS ME THAT LITTLE SHIT

 

Yoongi: seokjin hyung this unknown profile rlly wants to die lol

 

JinJin: I don't even-

 

Hobi: Yoonnnnnggggiiiiiiiii

 

Yoongi: I'm bored

 

**Jungkookie is online**

 

Jungkookie: hi~

 

Hobi: hi Kookie!

 

Yoongi: go back

 

Jungkookie: thx I feel the love

 

Jungkookie:

 

Hobi: LMAO

 

Yoongi: I smiled

 

Hobi: why are u like this

 

Yoongi: I question myself all the time too so idk

 

Jungkookie:

 

 

Yoongi: are u going to communicate with memes only

 

Jungkookie:

 

 

Hobi: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

 

Hobi: why is jinnie hyung so quite?

 

Yoongi: he probably forgot to log off like an idiot

 

JinJin: prepare the belt Hobi because someone is gonna get their pale ass whipped

 

hobi: oh god lets hold a praying circle for him

 

Jungkookie:

 

Hobi: JUNGKOOK STOP I CANT

 

Jungkookie:

 

 

 

JinJin: DONT USE MY MEME BISH

 

Yoongi: I'm scared for my life

 

Yoongi: kook give me a meme that would suit the situation

 

Jungkookie:

 

JinJin: this family man

 

Hobi: so why were u so quite

 

JinJin: ah nothing KenKen and I are just watching your stupidity unfold :3

 

Hobi: YoU mAdE aN ouTsiDeR rEaD oUr chAt?!!!!! HOw dArE YoU?!!!

 

Jungkookie:

 

Hobi: YOU PIECE OF SHIT IM TRYING TO BE MAD

 

Yoongi: I love this

 

JinJin: wdym he's Ken

 

Hobi: as in Barbie and Ken?

 

Yoongi: .............

 

Jungkookie:

 

JinJin: um are you drunk or something?

 

Yoongi: only you hang out with dolls hoseokie

 

Hobi: !!!

 

JinJin: wait u hang out with dolls?!

 

Hobi: NO

 

Yoongi: u sure bout that? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Jungkookie:

 

Hobi: MAKNAE JEON JUNGKOOK I WILL CASTRATE YOU AND CHOKE YOU WITH YOUR DICK

 

JinJin: woah shit that's violent

 

Yoongi: yeah what's wrong with you Hoseok

 

JinJin: too far dude

 

Jungkookie:

 

Hobi: I hate you all

 

Yoongi: you need Christian ChimChim

 

Yoongi: Kook

 

Jungkookie:

 

JinJin: he will help you see the light, amen.

 

Hobi: I'm leaving

 

**Hobi is offline**

 

Yoongi: well shit my victim left now what

 

**Taetae is online**

 

Yoongi: well lookie here :)

 

Yoongi: hi taetae

 

Taetae: uh.....

 

Taetae: hi...?

 

JinJin: bye I got my ice cream

 

JinJin: OH BUT FIRST

 

JinnJin: LET ME TAKE A SELFIE

 

JinJin:

 

 

Taetae: oh daym hyung you looking good

 

JinJin: thx when do I not

 

Yoongi: kook

 

Jungkookie:

 

 

Yoongi: exactly

 

Taetae: lol u look like a three year old

 

Yoongi: so taetae I heard u had a new hobby

 

Taetae: what?

 

Yoongi: knitting right?

 

Taetae: oh boy

 

Yoongi: can u knit something for Jungkookie's severed dick?

 

Yoongi: or soon to be severed

 

Taetae: wtf hyung i didn't need that in my head

 

Yoongi: will u or will u not

 

Taetae: NO I WONT

 

Yoongi: but taetae we can't have it laying around in the dorm it would be disgusting

 

Jungkookie:

 

Yoongi: see? He needs it :( poor child

 

Taetae: Why

 

Yoongi: do it taetae

 

Taetae: I will leave if u don't stop omg

 

Yoongi: hE nEeDS prOtEctIon fRoM tHe coLd foR hiS diCK tAeHyuNg whY aRe yOu sO heArtLeSs

 

Jungkookie:

 

Taetae: BYE

 

**Taetae is offline**

 

Yoongi: next victim plz

 

**Jiminie and Joonie are online**

 

Jiminie: why is tae screeching out how weird Yoongi hyung is being

 

 

Yoongi: idk

 

Yoongi: guys I have a question

 

Joonie: shoot

 

Yoongi:if a soap falls on the floor, is the floor clean or is the soap dirty?

 

Jiminie: ..............

 

Joonie: um

 

Jiminie: wtf

 

Jungkookie:

 

Yoongi: oh right! Btw

 

Yoongi: the next sentence is true

 

Yoongi: the last sentence is false

 

Jiminie: WTF STOP MY BRAIN WILL BURST

 

Joonie: I hate this

 

Jiminie: plz I can't

 

Jungkookie:

 

 

Jiminie: ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

 

 

Joonie: stOP wiTh tHe PaRadOxeS

 

Yoongi: on a serious note

 

Yoongi: what happens if Pinocchio says his nose will grow?

 

Joonie: it won't

 

Jiminie: but it will because he lied

 

Joonie: but then he would be telling the truth

 

Jiminie: so it won't grow?

 

Joonie: bUT THEN HE WOULD BE LYING

 

Jiminie: SO IT WILL?!!!

 

Joonie: THEN HES TELLING THE FUCKING TRUTH I HATE YOU YOONGI

 

Yoongi: IM CRYING THIS IS SO GOOD

 

Jungkookie:

 

Yoongi: hey guys

 

Yoongi: I always lie

 

Joonie: nope

 

Joonie: Jimin we're leaving

 

**Joonie and Jiminie are offline**

 

Yoongi: I just had so much fun I can't even like I never thought someone can have this much fun in their lives

 

Jungkookie:

 

 

Yoongi: s/o to u coco head much love

 

Yoongi: now excuse me while I go eat

 

Jungkookie: hyung

 

Jungkookie: why does the towel get dirty when you just showered?

 

Yoongi: .....

 

Yoongi: I liked u better when u were speaking in memes


	13. not an update but we got issues y'all

Hi peeps, I gathered you all on this day- I'm sorry just kidding let me cut to the chase.

An angel bless their soul, told me that the pictures on the last chapter couldn't be seen? and really the chapter is based on memes because I'm unoriginal and out of ideas, so I posted it on wattpad under the name @Squishy_hopemon

if anyone is having the same problem the chapter will be up there! Also I'll put the link. I'll post the other chapters soon but rn I'm late for school but who cares right? LOLOLOL ( dad will kill me )

 

<https://my.w.tt/UiNb/1tZFEEcqRI>

 

LOVE YOU 


	14. Storytime with Jeon Jungkook

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin isn't being himself 
> 
>  
> 
> And Everyone fights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think this is THAT funny..
> 
> Sigh, the drugs are wearing off :( 
> 
> joking joking 
> 
> Or am I? 
> 
> I'm sorry I'm sleep high...or high on sleep? Idk man it's 12 AM and I have school in the morning and tbh why am I even ranting it's not like u guys care lol bye now. LOVE YOU

**Chatroom ' you will be missed '**

 

**Yoongi, Hobi, Jungkookie and JinJin are online**

 

Jungkookie: Seokjin hyung, you're out rn right?

 

JinJin: yeah why

 

Jungkookie: can you bring me food?? I'm starving :(

 

Yoongi: and I want Oreos thank u very much

 

Hobi: and I want ice cream plz

 

JinJin: I didn't agree why are you making requests

 

Jungkookie: hyunngggg just ignore them:( I'm gonna dieeee

 

JinJin: I'm only buying food for Kookie

 

Jungkookie: thank u so much ily

 

JinJin: under one condition

 

Yoongi: ha got em

 

Hobi: PFT U THOUGHT

 

Jungkookie: oh my gerd

 

Jungkookie: what

 

JinJin: I wanna come back to a clean dorm

 

Jungkookie: WHY DO I HAVE TO CLEAN UP THEIR MESS?

 

JinJin: correction *your mess and theirs

 

Yoongi: correction *Our mess and yours

 

Jungkookie: hyuunnnggg

 

JinJin: why do I have to buy u food?

 

Jungkookie: so I don't die :(?

 

JinJin: clean up kid

 

JinJin: also Yoongi and Hoseok if u want ur shit then clean up with him

 

JinJin: and I want evidence

 

Yoongi: nvm I don't want anything <3

 

Hobi: same ^^^

 

Kookie: you know what? I'm just gonna lay miserably on ur bed and die there. My body will rot and you'll be forced to clean it up

 

JinJin: wtf

 

Hobi: LMFAO WTH KOOK

 

Kookie: I'm hungrrryyyyyy

 

Kookie: and our dorm is empty because a fatass called Taehyung ate everything

 

JinJin: excuse me? Last time I checked u were the one who could finish six cups of ramen in one sitting.

 

JinJin: besides I'm getting groceries

 

Kookie: I'm a growing boy don't judge me

 

Yoongi: should I be disturbed about the Ramen thing or Jungkook calling himself a ' growing boy '

 

Hobi: psh u act like u eat one spoon of rice and that's it

 

Yoongi: stfu don't expose me

 

JinJin: guys

 

Hobi: what will u do if I did ;)

 

Yoongi: do you really want to know?

 

JinJin: guysss

 

Hobi: um..will I regret it?

 

JinJin: ASSHOLES

 

Kookie: damn chill Jin hyung

 

JinJin: can someone check how many rice bags we have? I forgot to check

 

Kookie: I'm too hungry to move

 

Yoongi: and I'm busy

 

Hobi: wow ur so busy ur chatting with us right? :3

 

JinJin: guys seriously

 

**Jiminie is online**

 

Jiminie: YO GUESS WHAT

 

Hobi: WHAT

 

Jiminie: nothing I'm just eating donuts and life is good

 

Kookie: what did I do to deserve this :)?

 

JinJin: Jimin can you check for me?

 

Jiminie: check what?

 

JinJin: how many rice bags do we have

 

Jiminie: I'm really sorry hyung I'm not at the dorm :(

 

Jiminie: Jungkook why don't you check? Aren't you at the dorm?

 

Kookie: so is Yoongi and Hoseok hyungs

 

Jiminie: okay..one of you check?

 

Yoongi: I'm busy

 

Hobi: he's busy

 

Kookie: and my hunger is preventing me from moving

 

Jiminie: Jungkook if you check then hyung will come back earlier and you can eat

 

Kookie: Hyung will you cook for me once you come back (๑╹ω╹๑ )

 

JinJin: yeah whatever just check

 

Kookie: finally _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

 

Kookie: we have a bag and a half

 

**JinJin is offline**

 

Jiminie: you guys do realize Jin hyung isn't in the best mood right? Stop teasing him

 

Hobi: wdym?

 

Jiminie: he isn't being himself and in the morning when I saw him he was just staring blankly at the kitchen counter

 

Jiminie: didn't you find it weird that he didn't make any breakfast and didn't greet us with his usual sunshine happy go lucky attitude?

 

Yoongi: he didn't sleep all night too...he kept tossing and turning the whole time

 

Kookie: what's wrong with hyung?

 

Hobi: a couple of days ago he received a phone call and he's been weird ever since...like he was so out of it

 

Kookie: now I'm worried...

 

Jiminie: I tried [ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ] talking to him but he wouldn't tell me anything :/

 

Yoongi: I'll talk to him, stop worrying

 

Yoongi: kids shouldn't think about adult problems

 

Jiminie: wow jeez thanks hyung

 

Kookie: says the 3 inch tall kid

 

Yoongi: Jungkook do you want me to make you cry again :)?

 

Hobi: oh damn

 

Jiminie: hey don't be mean to him

 

Yoongi: do you want me to make you cry with him?

 

Jiminie: do you think you're funny? Or like does that make you feel tough?

 

Hobi: woah there Jimin

 

Jiminie: I'm sick of how he's being! It's not funny

 

Jiminie: there's some things you just shouldn't joke about ( IRONIC LMFAO )

 

Yoongi: nah he's right

 

Yoongi: If I was joking

 

Hobi: I'm not laughing nope

 

Jiminie: I can practically hear your laugh from across the dorm

 

Kookie: Jiminie Ilysm like wow ur my one and only

 

Jiminie: ily2

 

**TaeTae is online**

 

TaeTae: Why are you chatting here when you're all in the dorm wtf guys

 

Jiminie: I'm not at the dorm

 

TaeTae: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

TaeTae: I wanted to cuddle (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

 

Jiminie: there's Kookie

 

Kookie: I don't cuddle

 

Jiminie: you literally cuddled with me yesterday??

 

Kookie: okay let me rephrase it

 

Kookie: I only cuddle with Jiminie

 

Jiminie: there's Hobi?

 

Hobi: yeaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh ha ha ha baby come to my arms ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Taetae: um...

 

Jiminie: nvm

 

Jiminie: wait till I come back, won't be long

 

Yoongi: wait

 

Yoongi: why didn't you suggest me :/?

 

Jiminie: lol really hyung?

 

Yoongi: this actually hurt me like wth

 

Jiminie: okay Yoongi hyung will you cuddle with taetae?

 

Yoongi: ofc

 

Yoongi: not

 

TaeTae: I was in the middle of typing ( really? ) but then you sent it before I could embarrass myself

(ﾟωﾟ)

 

Jiminie: Hoseok hyung I can still hear your laugh from across the dorm

 

Hobi: wtf Jimin are you secretly hiding in the closet ? ( CATCH THAT DOUBLE MEANING LOL )

 

Jiminie: fuck u hyung

 

Yoongi: guess he's out of it now

 

Jiminie: I hate you all so much

 

Kookie: but I'm on my deathbed? And I didn't do anything?

 

Jiminie: Jungkook stop overreacting you're not gonna die from not eating for three hours or something

 

Taetae: wtf Kook? I literally saw you eat an hour ago?

 

Kookie: Im A gRowInG bOy

 

Taetae: growing boy my ass you're twenty

 

Kookie: dOnT jUdGe mE

 

Hobi: I miss namjoon:(

 

**Joonie is online**

 

Joonie: did someone call me :D?

 

Hobi: JOONIE!!

 

Joonie: SEOKIE!!

 

Taetae: TAETAE!!

 

Hobi: omg shut up nobody likes you

 

Jiminie: you shut up!! nobody likes YOU

 

Joonie: you shut up mochi don't tell hoseokie to shut up

 

Kookie: YOU SHUT YOUR CLUMSY ASS UP

 

Yoongi: can all of you shut the fuck up

 

Yoongi: honestly where's Jin when you need him

 

Jiminie: he's not gonna magically become online like Namjoon hyung so don't wait for that to happen

 

Joonie: oh so hyung went grocery shopping?

 

Kookie: yup and he's taking his time apparently -_-

 

Joonie: why didn't he take someone with him??

 

Yoongi: idk I can't read his mind

 

Joonie: I didn't ask you

 

Hobi: ouchhhhhhhh

 

Taetae: BOMBAYAH

 

Kookie: but why do we all suddenly hate each other?

 

Kookie: I'm dying so can't we all get along?

 

Jiminie: FOR THE SECOND TIME JUNG DRAMAKOOK YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE

 

Joonie: okay but what crawled up Jimin's ass and died?

 

Jiminie: do you really want to know?

 

Joonie: I mean other than your head

 

Hobi: omg

 

Kookie: today's sniper ladies and gentlemen! KIM NAMJOON!!!!!! CAN I HEAR AN APPLAUSE??

 

Hobi: *CLAPS AGGRESSIVELY*

 

Kookie: woah chill dude I don't like aggressive actions

 

Hobi: *is aggressive*

 

Kookie: honestly don't make me post a storytime about how you violated me

 

Yoongi: LOL

 

Kookie: I have the title ready and everything

 

Kookie: my friend raped me

 

Kookie: I'll talk about how aggressive you were

 

Taetae: wtf is wrong with this kid?

 

Jiminie: sometimes I want to cut his head and look at his brain

 

Joonie: if he has one

 

Taetae: I CANT

 

Yoongi: I hate to say this but I'm proud of you Namjoon

 

Kookie: hello darkness my old friend

 

**JinJin is online**

 

Kookie: JIN HYUNG I MISSED YOY SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND LIME I REALLY MISSED YOU

 

Jiminie: JIN HYUNG OH MY GOD

 

JinJin: calm down I was gone for an hour

 

Taetae: hyung!! Everyone was fighting while you were gone :(

 

JinJin: tsk you kids can't behave for one hour?

 

Yoongi: speaking of kids

 

Yoongi: why are you in such a mood?

 

Hobi: Yoongi!!

 

Joonie: and that's why, ladies and gentlemen why we never let Yoongi handle these types of things

 

Jiminie: and he says to let the adult things up to him

 

JinJin: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!

 

Yoongi: none of u knows Jin like I do so stfu before I stab u with a toothpick

 

Kookie: I.....

 

JinJin: so Hoseokie remember the call I had?

 

Hobi: yes??

 

JinJin: right so...

 

JinJin: a week before that call..

 

Jiminie: what happened?!!

 

JinJin: I'm sorry it's just really hard to talk about..

 

Joonie: aw...are you okay?

 

JinJin: it's fine...I'll be fine

 

Kookie: hyung....

 

Jiminie: it's alright hyung

 

Taetae: you know we're all here for you right?

 

JinJin: I know

 

Yoongi: just spit it out Seokjin

 

Jiminie: oh my god Yoongi stop!

 

Yoongi: Jimin I will cut your tiny balls and shove it so far up your ass it'll come out of your throat

 

Yoongi: Jesus I've had it with your disrespectful attitude

 

Yoongi: don't forget who's your hyung

 

Taetae: the door just slammed shut I bet you it's Jiminie

 

Taetae: yup I was right

 

Taetae: and he's pouting like a three year old

 

Jiminie: sorry Yoongi hyung (ㆀ˘･з･˘)

 

Yoongi: good boy

 

Yoongi: now Seokjin hyung?

 

Seokjin: um the call

 

Seokjin: they told me that the Mario figurine I ordered was out of stock and they forgot to change its status .°(ಗдಗ。)°.

 

Yoongi: called it

 

Yoongi: i expect you to have Oreos with you when you get back

 

**Yoongi is offline**

 

Kookie: i lost my appetite 

 

Jiminie: I'm so done

 

Joonie: excuse me while I go drown myself in bleach

 

Hobi: someone buy me ammo for my gun

 

Taetae: Joonie hyung make it two bottles of bleach plz

 

**Kookie, Jiminie, Joonie, Hobi and taetae are offline**

 

JinJin: hmph I have no reason to befriend people who don't appreciate Mario

 

  
**JinJin left the chatroom**

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know anymore you guys lmao also have u noticed I deleted love yourself? Yeah I'm lol. Btw I have nothing against Jess lol I just don't know any other solo female rappers?? anyways yup bye


End file.
